Tosin’s List! Part One – Why the List!

Edit: 2nd July 2016 Now that I’ve had a chance to think about this a bit more, I think that this post should come in three parts:

Part 1: Why the list:  THIS POST 
Part 2: Essential characteristics : Available here
Part 3: Desirable Characteristics: Coming Soon! (Hopefully!)
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PART ONE – Why the list!
Man, I don’t know why this idea has never occurred to me before!  Here I plan to list out all the “essential criteria” that I would love to see in my husband!  This is a little tongue-in-cheek just now, because I’m in a bit of a playful mood just now as I type this.  However you have got to believe me that I am utterly sincere and serious about all these characteristics.

Looking for Perfection!
I am looking for perfection!  Yeah, I said it!  OK, well maybe I’m not really!  However, there are some people who act like this:  whenever I start listing some of the characteristics that I aspire to in my own life, and the ones I want from my husband, they will say “Well we can’t all be perfect!” Honestly, it annoys me so much! I do not think that these characteristics amount to perfection, but rather excellence.  However, for the benefit of those people, yes, I am indeed looking for what you apparently count by your standards as “perfection”.  And while we are on the topic, yes, I apparently am perfect  – and emphatically so – by your standards! If you as a man do not meet these standards of “perfection”, then please do not even look at me – please!  You know, as I write this, another birthday for me is fast approaching – you feel me?! However, for everyone else reading this, whose standards are perhaps a little higher, who can understand that aspiring to be excellent does not equate to claiming to be perfect, then please discount this whole paragraph! Seriously!  (Shaking a somewhat annoyed head!)

Myself?
Speaking candidly, I know that listing out my “essential characteristics for my husband” might come across as being somewhat  arrogant, as if I am sitting here on high in unerring confidence of my own, erm, perfection (!) and judging all these men to see whether any of them could even nearly be good enough for me. This is not true at all. All these things that I am listing are attributes that I am actively working towards in my own life. In many cases I have demonstrated these attributes in my own life countless times. On the other hand, I also have another blog where I am very candid about my own failures in striving after Christlikeness, and issues I struggle with in my heart. As I myself am a genuine striver, I know that sincere striving is utterly non-negotiable. I know that in life and in marriage my husband will fail many many times, as I will, as I already have done and continue to do. And yet I hope and I trust that he will get back up with greater and greater determination each time, as I have done, and as I continue to do. I simply cannot interact with someone who is only half-hearted in his pursuit of character.  I just don’t even want to think of the possible nightmares that this man  could introduce to my life in his insincerity.  Seriously?!  Just no! (She shudders)

So fussy!
I’ve got to admit that I am quite fussy. The list of “Essential Husband Characteristics” steadily grows longer and longer as I think of more things! There is a very good reason for that!  I want to make the most of my time here on earth, and attain great things with my life.  A truly great life requires a truly great person and in my brief experience, unyielding pursuit of outstanding character is the primary characteristic for demonstrating true greatness. If my husband is going to be involved in my life, and contribute to it, and not try to pull me down from my dreams, but rather be secure enough to encourage me and support me incessantly, and abundantly satisfy all my emotional needs, while pursuing his own amazing dreams, and constantly evaluating himself to keep pushing forward, and if through all of that we somehow still manage to have the earth-shatteringly beautiful marriage that I dream of, then he will simply have to demonstrate greatness of character too!  (I plan to do all of the above for him too, of course.) So you see I have to be fussy!