Stages – Looking


This page links to a few thoughts that might be relevant for people who are looking for  “the one”:

Key Thoughts:
If you’re totally single and looking for a spouse, then you’ve come to the right place!
I believe that singleness is the “single” greatest place from which to build an excellent foundation for an excellent marriage.

I believe that true commitment to Christ and character are the primary considerations in choosing a spouse.

I believe that we should all be extremely fussy in insisting on outstanding character from our future spouses. I also believe that it takes 2 full years to get to know someone, so I encourage all readers to get to know someone for at least two full years before considering them romantically.  This is to make sure that their character truly is outstanding.

I also believe that it is better to remain happily single than to throw your life away on an ill-advised marriage. I actually think that for me only an outstanding marriage would make it worthwhile to get married at all.

I believe that conventional dating is an extremely flimsy foundation for a relationship. I would encourage people to try to build a foundation of friendship, prayer and communication for their marriage.

If you are single, then there might not be anyone to check out, or to try to build a foundation of friendship etc with.  However, you could be using this period while you are waiting for someone to show up to get familiar with these ideas, and to plan how you might approach these issues when someone does show up.

Please don’t wait until someone comes along before you start thinking these things through.  Sometimes it takes some time to truly understand an idea, and I think it would be best to be conversant and confident in these ideas before you need to apply them.  Obviously these are my own ideas, and there is nothing “set in stone” about them.  I am not God, and this blog is not the Bible. I do sincerely think that they are useful ideas.  However, you might want or need to modify them to make them useful for your particular situation.  At any rate, I would encourage you to at least think through some idea for how to build a great foundation for your future marriage.

Some links to the issues mentioned above:
Commitment to Christ
Some posts on Character here
Dating:  Why I believe it is a bad idea
Other posts on dating
All about two years: the definitive post
More posts on the “two year thing”
Some thoughts on Friendshipcommunication
Some posts about whether it is better to remain single or to get married here

A few other things you might like to consider:


Building an excellent foundation for your marriage

Does God have a specific will for our lives?

Excellence in singleness

Excellent character for a:

Exercising Discernment

Falling in love


Future Dreams

Learning from others

Necessary knowledge before marriage

Praying for the right person

Premarital Prayers

Promoting yourself as a potential spouse

When will I find the right person?


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